Thursday, December 4, 2008

What Do I Look Like??? A Clown?!?!?!

don't answer that!
I am so far surviving the 'interview process' for this company that I applied for, and I am about to SCREAM!!!!! Yes, I survived! But these people, I swear. The nerve of them! Making me jump through hoops and put on a show for them, all because I want (need) a job. They take advantage of my poor, pathetic, vulnerable little self.
Yes I need a job.
Yes I want to work for them.
But come on, wasn't 2 interviews the previous day enough?
NO you say!
What is that you say?
That you feel the need not only to torture me with a panel interview, but to also, when I think I'm done and I just survived your 'panel interview', you go ahead and throw me into a smaller room and make me "ROLE PLAY" with 3 shmucks in there. Yes, putting me through such grief as being interviewed by 10 people at the same time wasn't enough for you huh??? No! You weren't done having your fun with me. You then just HAD to have me do something that had ABSOLUTELY.NOTHING.TO.DO with the position for which I was applying for. Just go in here you say and role play these following situations. Ummmmm.... you know what??? You should thank your lucky stars that I'm a team player & wtf, I was already there so I just went with it. But I was soooo ready to just laugh at the HR lady's face and say are you serious?!?!? Am I on Candid Camera or something?!?! But no, I kept my composure. As I said earlier, wtf, I was already there. I already gave you my time, my gas, my pretty perfume, my nice slacks, I did my hair, I actually washed my teeth for you people, so hell yeah I was gonna stay there 'til the end. So of course I pulled shit out of my ass for you people. Yes, that's right! Out of my ass!!!! You wanted to bullshit me so I bullshitted your people back. And not to pat myself on the back (ok, totally to pat myself on the back if only to make me feel better) I did a pretty great job at it. Yes, I can tell the shmucks in there were pretty impressed will all the bullshit thrown their way, which again I reiterate had ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. TO. DO. WITH . THE. POSITION. FOR . WHICH. I. AM. APPLYING. FOR. and yes, I am screaming!@ #!$ (Not at you my bloggy friends, sorry! ) But at them!!!

So going back just a little bit, as you can see I just had my panel interview and besides all the frieking curve balls they threw my way, I sooooooooooo nailed it. Just like I thought I would, ok actually just like I hoped I would. And guess what? If I thought the original 4 0r 5 that were going to be in there was a scary thing, then how about opening the door to a ginormous table surrounded by about 10 people. Frieking shit! What to do?!?!? What to do?!?!? So I did the first thing that came to mind to break the ice... I flashed them!!! Yup, I did. I showed them my boobies... After all, my goal WAS to nail them, right???? Lol, just kidding... although that would have helped cut the fiasco short and I could be on my merry way much faster. But anyways. I feel dirty. I feel used. I feel like if I sold myself as best I could, like hire me. Please, please, please hire me. I'm the best that there is, the best you can get. I'll work my ass off for you. Pretty much just grobble at their feet, and now the ball is in their corner. Will they pick me up off my knees ( from begging people, not anything else you dirty minded cochinos) and tell me that I'm exactly what they've been looking for?
(((( enter big, big sigh here))))
I sure hope so. 'cause I'm sure getting tired of being poor. And to think that all this for nothing???? OH hell no!!!!
So did I nail it?
Yes, I'm pretty damm confident that I did!
But did I get the job?
Well, that was pretty much a don't call us, we'll call you type of deal. CRAP!!!
But wait, then low and behold............. THEY CALLED!!!!
Yes, they did! They called me back!!!
I told you I impressed them!!!
But anyways, it was a good call. Unfortunately, NOT to tell me that I got the job, but to let me know that I will be advancing in the interview process. WHAT.THE.FUDGE!?!?!??!? ok, now I am screaming AGAIN!!! It's an ok job, but like I said, not for the presidency, or their vp or ceo or anything even remotely close to that! So what's up with all this frieking hoop jumping????
2 interviews in one day with of course 2 different people. CHECK!
A panel interview with 10 different people. CHECK!
A "role play" with 3 schmucks in a small office. CHECK!
A personality test to be emailed to me..... Still waiting on that one!
And then only God knows what the heck they'll have me do...... Geez, Louise!
So that's where I'm at people. I did good... I nailed them, without having to nail them, if you know what I mean. But the saga continues. On the super sunny side, I just got an email from a different company that states that "After an initial review of your application, it appears you may have the basic qualifications for a job opening(s) at _____________ (a really cool place to work at that has super duper great benefits which I would in the blink of an eye take over this other one that is treating me like a clown making me jump through all those hoops) breathe!
So after this email, do I just wait for them to call me? Or should I call them? Hmmm, I probably will call them just to confirm that I received the email..... I'll let you all know when I'm out of the broke barn, okie dokie!!!!!!


Diane said...

Oh man. I know I shouldn't be laughing (not AT you) but I am. And I lost it when you said, "I washed my teeth for you!" Fingers crossed, all the jumping through hoops won't be for nothin'.

And PS... if we ever meet in person, please wash your teeth me, OK? ;)

Rachel said...

What the hootin and hollering is going on here!!! What kind of job are you trying to get CIA, Secret Service? Damn!!!

I hope you get it but definately check into the other one...don't put all your eggs in one basket :)

Michelle said...

Yiks, I would be scared of that interviewing process! Good luck in round two!