Thursday, February 19, 2009

Out of the Mouths of Babes

“My mom watches PLAYBOY”

Ummm, that’s not exactly the kind of information that I like my daughter to be sharing with anybody… ESPECIALLY not her teacher. And what was my surprise when she came home telling me that she told her teacher that!
Why did you tell your teacher that?
Because you do!
Aaaaaaah! I could not believe her. There was no way in hell that she actually told her teacher that, right?
Because she did!
Of course she did…
Why wouldn’t she?
(shaking my head here full of embarrassment, looking down, hands covering my eyes & most of my face)

My first thought was Oh no she didn’t.
But sadly enough, Oh yes she did.
And that my friends just goes to show you and reiterate the point that I am SuperMom……….. NOT!
There’s no doubt in my mind that that’s definitely what her teacher’s thinking. That I’m a bad, bad mother. I’m sure she went home & told her husband all about me. I can just hear her now… “That poor, poor child. Not only does her mother watch Playboy, she can’t keep it to herself. Her daughter knows all about it… Poor thing, she must be addicted. She probably doesn’t get much action with her husband that she had to resort to porn.” LOL!

I can just imagine all the things she must be thinking! It’s funny & embarrassing to even think about it!
Funny because it is soooo not true! Yet embarassing because she must surely think it is!
Oh my Lord… How will I ever see her in the eyes again? Haha, will she look me in the eyes? After all, she’s probably just as embarrassed that she ‘knows’ about my little secret!

And let’s just set the record straight here people.
I do NOT watch porn.
I am NOT addicted.
And I DO get lots & lots of action from my gorgeous hubby (thank you very much!)
(t.m.i. Yeah, I know, but I gotta set the record straight here)

What my sweet, precious, loud-mouth daughter was referring to was Playboy’s “The Girls Next Door”. Now that show I do watch every once in a while, definitely not to be confused with the Playboy channel… but I’m sure that’s not what the teacher imagined! From now on I’m sure she’ll be referring to as the ‘Mom who watches Playboy channel & her daughter knows all about it, and now I do too’

Yup, that’s me!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What are your Pet Peeves?

As a child, never would I have imagined myself becoming one of those adults that had any Pet Peeves. PET PEEVES… what in the world is that? And why do I have them? Well, I guess the older you get the easier it is to get annoyed, lol. So to me, a pet peeve is just something that annoys the crap out of you and you just can’t help it! Like your kids, hahahaha…. Actually, no. Kids don’t fall under that category. At least not your own. And if they do, shame on you!
Anyways, guess what? I am now officially one of those adults that say, “Do you know what my Pet Peeve is?” Yup, that’s me now!

So, do you know what my pet peeve is? (and I just figured this out while on my way home from work last night)
Well, here it goes…
I HATE it when people don’t move out of the way when an ambulance or fire truck is right behind them WITH their lights and sirens on.

Yes, something as trivial as that just annoys the crap out of me!!!. I mean, we’re all adults here in our own merry little world. And that’s completely fine. You’re driving. I’m driving. We’re sharing the road. No problem! But then, lo and behold, you see am ambulance come up behind you WITH lights & sirens on. I would like to think that if you’re smart enough to operate a motor vehicle, you would be smart enough to know what to do. WTH is there not to understand!?!? Lights and sirens people, MOVE OUT OF THE WAY… IMMEDIATELY! It’s a s simple as that.

What in your sweet, precious life could be so important that you can’t move to the side of the road for 30 frieking seconds to let this EMERGENCY vehicle pass you by? What? Seriously, somebody life is at risk here. You getting to wherever the heck you need to get to 30 seconds late will NOT make a difference, believe me. But the ambulance or fire truck trying to get by you… that’s another story. Now, because you think you’re so important & you get road rage even w/these vehicles & are adamant about not letting them pass you by, they arrive on the scene 30 seconds late because of your dumb ass not moving out of the way + add 30 more seconds because another moron wouldn’t move either, and then another & another… well that very well could be the difference between life and death for whoever it is that they’re trying to get to. Just 4 idiots not getting out of the way equals at least a 2 minute delay, which can most definitely mean the difference to getting to a burning victim right before the roof collapses, or before they pass out from smoke inhalation. Those 2 minutes can definitely save a choking child’s life who will be getting CPR 2 minutes later because an idiot didn’t want to move to the side. There are millions of scenarios you could think of… and yes, they’re not always life and death, but they surely are emergency situations. They have their lights and sirens on for a reason. So just move will ya?!?!

And I had no idea how strongly I felt about this. Here I am pulling over to the side immediately when I see them behind me (which happened just yesterday) & there I am yelling at all the morons that just pass me by or honk their horns at me. All while the ambulance is right behind them not being able to zoom on by. But me, Oh yeah, I yell and curse at them! Lol… That’s a funny site. And I catch myself saying, “move you idiot. What if it’s your house that’s burning and they’re trying to get to, huh? What if it’s your wife, daughter or mother that they’re going to help? Then you’d move you Mother Lover!!!” (only I don’t say ‘lover’ I use another word that also rhymes to that, use your imagination)

Anyways, I’m sure it’s not good for my blood or something to get that aggravated, but it just kills me when people don’t move. After all, the only thing you have to do is apply the Golden Rule here. If everybody did that, what a wonderful world this would be. Do unto others as you would want done unto you. Well if my house was burning, or my family members needed any type of help which required dialing 9-1-1, I surely hope you’d move out of the way and let those emergency vehicles pass you to get us the help we need. Believe me, I will do the same for you. As a matter of fact, I’m one of the only ones that already does…
So please, return the favor----- And move out of the way!

Monday, February 16, 2009

My Return to Blogland!

These past couple of months have been really hard on my family and I.

I was out of a job.
Hubby was working less hours.
The economy sucked!!! (although that hasn't changed, it still sucks!)
Money problems were pretty much abounding around here...

I couldn't be around here for a while. Just too much going on in every other aspect of my life. Umm, that and we were too broke to pay for the internet. (shhh, that's bad, right?!?!)

Anyways, things are really looking up now. I found a job ((((YAY!!!';cause let me tell you, that was a task in itself! )))) and hubby's hours are picking up so everything's back to normal. WoooHooo! Who'd have ever thunk that normal would actually be a good thing?

So N-E-ways! We now have money to pay for internet ( doing the happy dance here!!!) So I. AM. BACK!!! For good! (unless 1 of us loses their job again and then we don't have the $$$ to pay for the net again...) Until that happens again (God forbid!) , I'm back for good!

I can't wait to catch up with all the blogs that I've missed during these couple of months. =0D
So here's your warning people, I'll be seeing you around BLOGLAND!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Weekend Recap... MidWeek lol

It's already Wednesday... Like O.M.G !!! I can't believe it!!!
This weekend (yeah, this weekend, I'm that behind lol) was absolutely awesome! Of course I haven't been able to tell you all about it because of my previous bitch fest and job hunting fiasco. But I promise not to bore you all with that today. Today is a fun day! Today is a better day! I pinky promise...
So, remember how I told you all that I'm going camping in January with all my little Girl Scouts? Well to be able to do that I had to take some training (of course) and that training was this weekend. Basically, I had to go camping to learn the ropes and what to do and not to do. Anyways, that was this weekend. The very same weekend that the weather dropped down to 25 degrees!!!!! Uh huh... twenty five degrees!!!! I'm telling you, I just about cried myself to sleep that night... You should have seen me. I had my brand new sleeping bag that I just bought this black friday (which is good for 30 degree weather) which I thought would be perfectly ok because it never, ever gets below 30 here at all. Not even close... Maybe once or twice a year it will go down to 35 or so, but that's it. So I should be good, right???? Hahahaha... Oh so wrong! I'm telling you, I was fu-ree-zing!!! I had (now don't laugh ok) 3, count them 1-2-3 sweetpants on, 2 pairs of socks ( 1 of the normal ones and the other super soft and warm ones) 2 undershirts, 1 long sleeve shirt, 1 sweatshirt with hoodie AND my super warm fleece bathrobe on. PLUS a fleece blanket inside the sleeping bag.... and guess what ???? I was STILL cold !!! No, I'll take that back, I wasn't cold. I was fu-ree-zing ! ! ! I almost, almost cried... ( and the mom that went with me later confessed that she did shed a tear, lol) And I couldn't fall asleep 'cause I just couldn't get comfortable. And there is absolutely NO tossing and turning inside a sleeping bag... go figure. Which come to think of it, it's actually my first time in a sleeping bag. Wow! I didn't realize that I was a sleeping bag virgin until now! Whoa, I was de-virginized and I didn't even know it! Anyways, I couldn't sleep. I was cold. I was miserable and I missed my hubby. We ALWAYS hug at night, and although he probably wouldn't admit it, we cuddle too. And of course, we end up falling asleep like that in each other's arms.... but he wasn't there!!! I was cold and had nobody to hug! That my friends was so not cool. Which then of course made me make a mental note, bring a body pillow next time. Definitely!!!!
And during my sleepless night, all I could do was think. Yup, thinking about January when I just have to go again, only this time with 12 little girls and all I could think was how the hell are they all going to survive??? They'll probably be coming to my cabin crying and complaining that they are cold. Sh!t, if I'm cold and suffering I have no frieking idea how they are going to survive! But they better, 'cause I'm not giving them my blankets! That's for sure!
And then, morning came. We got up and I swear I did not even want to change clothes. Heck no! that would mean having to take off what I had on to put something else on (which was probably really cold). I was miserable I tell ya! But then, we headed to the kitchen and started making breakfast. Everybody was out there... talking, laughing, sharing stories, bonding. It was SO. MUCH. FUN. Then, we learned games, how to read compasses, tie knots, identify wild things and such and I loved it!!! I felt like a little kid, learning new things and being amazed with all that I was learning.... and that's when I realize that the 12 little girls that I take camping will absolutely love it too!!! They might hate that first night just like I did, but once day breaks and we start all our activities.... they will have so much fun! And most of them have never even left the city, none the less go camping. So just thinking of that made my adventurous 25 degree weather experience seem a little bit better. The final outcome would definitely make a difference in the live's of those 12 little girls.
I can't wait for January!!! Well actually, yes I can. But I do look forward to going! I feel a lot more prepared and capable of handling the trip and the girls, but the weather... that's another issue! lol

Just Me Bitching 'bout Life...

Major Complaining Ahead:
This is your free pass. Your get out of jail free card... Your warning. This is a long, whiny post that pertains to this moment in my life. Feel free to skip, or read at your own discredtion.
As you must all imagine, being that I'm currently out of a job and nobody seems to want to hire me right now, or is really, really, really dragging their feet in doing so, money is a really big issue around our household lately. Mainly because we don't have ANY of it... Only hubby is working (the poor thing) and guess what??? They just informed him that they are cutting back ALL overtime hours!!! As of today, he will be punching out at 3:30...
OH MY LORD! We were barely getting by with the couple of overtime hours he was getting per day (and by barely getting by I mean not having enough money that we had to borrow (ouch! yes borrow) from a family member to make ends meet!) And now.... Lordy Lord, now... I do not, can not even imagine what this coming month is going to be like for us. I'm only hoping and praying that somebody, ANYBODY from the million and one places who have received my resume calls me back. If not, I am sooooooooooo frieking desperate that I will soon be asking people if they want fries with that. I am NOT kidding. We NEED money, and there is absolutely no shame to working in any of those places where you have to ask that question. Granted, I haven't worked at one of those places for over 10 years & I have mastered other skills that don't pertain to that working environment, but at this point, yes I think I have reached that point... I will take anything! As long as they give me a paycheck at the end of the week I'm good. Especially right now! Out of all the times in the world to be out of a job, Christmas time . . .
And yes I know, Christmas is NOT all about the presents. That I know. But it just sucks not to have money!
It's a mixed bag of emotions for me right now. And I'm sorry for all the complaining that I've been doing lately, hence the warning at the beginning of the post. I know that we are blessed! We are truly, truly blessed. That I know, and that I repeat to myself every single day. But I'm tired of my girls asking me for things, just simple things and my answer always having to be the same. That I don't have the money for that right now... Poor girls, they've heard it so many times that they've even changed their questions to "Mommy, when you get a job and you have money, can you buy me ____________ ?" Now THAT breaks my heart.... My babies are fully aware of our money issues and that just tears me from the inside. As if me and hubby being stressed wasn't enough, I have been so careless as to letting them find out and now it's in their minds. Sh!t! Little girls shouldn't have to worry about money issues, should they???? I don't want them to be stressing over things they can't handle... over things that I should be able to take care of for them.
Lucky for them, Christmas is going to be absolutely GRAND! (somewhat) even though we don't even have a Christmas tree or any decorations inside the house they will have one present under the tree for both of them. Yes, so far only 1 and they have to share it. They usually have 2 big presents each (one from mommy & daddy and the other from Santa. Oh shit, I'm probably going to have to tell them that Santa didn't get our new forwarding address). So the 1 present they get to share is a gift that many, many, many little kids would just absolutely LOVE to have. And of course my girlies are no exception to the rule. They have no idea! They will be absolutely ecstatic! They are getting... get ready for this.....
a Wii
Ok, stop it. Don't start throwing shit at me and saying how you were sympathizing with me and how could we be out of money but still be getting them a Wii???? I told you I know we are truly blessed. And no I didn't go without paying the bills to get them that Wii. Um, nope! I'd rather have running, hot water in my house thank you very much!
Actually, if it wasn't for my wonderful, generous, adorable, kind hearted sister they wouldn't even have that gift from us. See, my sister knows that my hubby really wanted to get them 1 this year. She was at the store and saw it (and she knows they're still somewhat hard to get by) so she called and asked if she should get it for us and just pay her back. Um, no we said. We don't really have the money for that now and we don't want to be forever endebted with you. But guess what??? She got it anyways. And she mailed it over to us and poor thing... First thing out of her mouth was don't get mad. Please don't get mad! That it is NOT from her to the girls, but that it is for the girls from US! WTF, how???? Remember, we can't pay you back for this, not now, not in a reaaaaaally long time. And the last thing we need right now is to owe more people money. Well, no need to pay her back she says ... Huh?!?!? I'm confused. See, she knows what a poor Christmas this will be for us and how special we wanted it for the girls so she got it for us to give to them and she practically gave it to us. She is of course better off than we are, duhh! But her reasoning is that basically hubby has helped her out a lot over at their house. See, he's very handy and always helps her with electrical stuff around the house, fixing things, making things for her, this and that. Also, she has a rental property here in the city where we live, and hubby fixes things that get broken, cuts the grass when it wasn't rented, and stuff like that. So she said she's always wanted to send us some cash and she knew we wouldn't take it, so she decided to send us this Wii as a form of payment. Now we get to give the girls the gift they've wanted for a very long time, which is NOT even on their Christmas list because they know there is no chance in hell that they'd ever get it!!!
What?!?!? I'm freaking out!
She should have sent the MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, my big sis is an angel in disguise.... She aleviated our problem a bit, but in a way made it worse. how will I ever pay her back??? Not moneywise of course, but.... I don't even have money to get her kids a small gift. This totally and truly sucks!
See what I mean??? Mixed bag of emotions. Elated that the girls are getting a frieking awesome gift when many kids might not even be getting anything, yet so many things that we need to have or do that won't/can't get done.... Ugh! So whatcha think, should I sell the thing on ebay and cash in on the money????? Lol
Thanks for reading. You all truly are little angels in disguise too! I'll try to be in a better mood tomorrow, I promise!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

What Do I Look Like??? A Clown?!?!?!

don't answer that!
I am so far surviving the 'interview process' for this company that I applied for, and I am about to SCREAM!!!!! Yes, I survived! But these people, I swear. The nerve of them! Making me jump through hoops and put on a show for them, all because I want (need) a job. They take advantage of my poor, pathetic, vulnerable little self.
Yes I need a job.
Yes I want to work for them.
But come on, wasn't 2 interviews the previous day enough?
NO you say!
What is that you say?
That you feel the need not only to torture me with a panel interview, but to also, when I think I'm done and I just survived your 'panel interview', you go ahead and throw me into a smaller room and make me "ROLE PLAY" with 3 shmucks in there. Yes, putting me through such grief as being interviewed by 10 people at the same time wasn't enough for you huh??? No! You weren't done having your fun with me. You then just HAD to have me do something that had ABSOLUTELY.NOTHING.TO.DO with the position for which I was applying for. Just go in here you say and role play these following situations. Ummmmm.... you know what??? You should thank your lucky stars that I'm a team player & wtf, I was already there so I just went with it. But I was soooo ready to just laugh at the HR lady's face and say are you serious?!?!? Am I on Candid Camera or something?!?! But no, I kept my composure. As I said earlier, wtf, I was already there. I already gave you my time, my gas, my pretty perfume, my nice slacks, I did my hair, I actually washed my teeth for you people, so hell yeah I was gonna stay there 'til the end. So of course I pulled shit out of my ass for you people. Yes, that's right! Out of my ass!!!! You wanted to bullshit me so I bullshitted your people back. And not to pat myself on the back (ok, totally to pat myself on the back if only to make me feel better) I did a pretty great job at it. Yes, I can tell the shmucks in there were pretty impressed will all the bullshit thrown their way, which again I reiterate had ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. TO. DO. WITH . THE. POSITION. FOR . WHICH. I. AM. APPLYING. FOR. and yes, I am screaming!@ #!$ (Not at you my bloggy friends, sorry! ) But at them!!!

So going back just a little bit, as you can see I just had my panel interview and besides all the frieking curve balls they threw my way, I sooooooooooo nailed it. Just like I thought I would, ok actually just like I hoped I would. And guess what? If I thought the original 4 0r 5 that were going to be in there was a scary thing, then how about opening the door to a ginormous table surrounded by about 10 people. Frieking shit! What to do?!?!? What to do?!?!? So I did the first thing that came to mind to break the ice... I flashed them!!! Yup, I did. I showed them my boobies... After all, my goal WAS to nail them, right???? Lol, just kidding... although that would have helped cut the fiasco short and I could be on my merry way much faster. But anyways. I feel dirty. I feel used. I feel like if I sold myself as best I could, like hire me. Please, please, please hire me. I'm the best that there is, the best you can get. I'll work my ass off for you. Pretty much just grobble at their feet, and now the ball is in their corner. Will they pick me up off my knees ( from begging people, not anything else you dirty minded cochinos) and tell me that I'm exactly what they've been looking for?
(((( enter big, big sigh here))))
I sure hope so. 'cause I'm sure getting tired of being poor. And to think that all this for nothing???? OH hell no!!!!
So did I nail it?
Yes, I'm pretty damm confident that I did!
But did I get the job?
Well, that was pretty much a don't call us, we'll call you type of deal. CRAP!!!
But wait, then low and behold............. THEY CALLED!!!!
Yes, they did! They called me back!!!
I told you I impressed them!!!
But anyways, it was a good call. Unfortunately, NOT to tell me that I got the job, but to let me know that I will be advancing in the interview process. WHAT.THE.FUDGE!?!?!??!? ok, now I am screaming AGAIN!!! It's an ok job, but like I said, not for the presidency, or their vp or ceo or anything even remotely close to that! So what's up with all this frieking hoop jumping????
2 interviews in one day with of course 2 different people. CHECK!
A panel interview with 10 different people. CHECK!
A "role play" with 3 schmucks in a small office. CHECK!
A personality test to be emailed to me..... Still waiting on that one!
And then only God knows what the heck they'll have me do...... Geez, Louise!
So that's where I'm at people. I did good... I nailed them, without having to nail them, if you know what I mean. But the saga continues. On the super sunny side, I just got an email from a different company that states that "After an initial review of your application, it appears you may have the basic qualifications for a job opening(s) at _____________ (a really cool place to work at that has super duper great benefits which I would in the blink of an eye take over this other one that is treating me like a clown making me jump through all those hoops) breathe!
So after this email, do I just wait for them to call me? Or should I call them? Hmmm, I probably will call them just to confirm that I received the email..... I'll let you all know when I'm out of the broke barn, okie dokie!!!!!!

Panel Job Interview..... WHAT?!?!

The sun is shining!
The birds are singing!
I think I even see a rainbow!!!!!!!!
Nah, I'm just lying people. It's actually about 50 some degrees, super windy and quite cold around here today. But in my own little world ( my head ) it looks like the 1st scenario. =0D
You see, after being out of work for over 4 months... yes, f-o-u-r months, I had my 1st interview yesterday. And guess what? I absolutely nailed it !!!!!!!! Yay me! ( patting myself on the back for a job well done! and thanking the internet for giving me all the right answers, lol. Seriously, no need to feel nervous when you're getting ready for an interview. Just google the questions you know they'll ask and you get a humongous assortment of great answers! ) So much so that the 2nd lady that interviewed me actually told me she was very impressed with me... okay, okay. I threw in the 'very' 'cause it makes it sound better, BUT she did say she was impressed... Yeah, why wouldn't she be, right?!?!? I tend to do that to people, you know, impress them!
( hahahahahahahahah , excuse me please ... even I had to laugh at that one )
Well anyways, I got her approval and now I move on in the hiring process.
I have a panel interview today!!!!!!!!!
Did you all hear that?!?!?
A panel interview!!!
wtf! I'm not applying for state governor or anything. Why do we need a panel of people interviewing me?????? Isn't only one enough!!!!!
If I was nervous yesterday before my interview when only 1 person was asking me bs questions like: tell me a little bit about yourself, why should I hire you over the other applicants, what skills will you be bringing that differ from everybody else's, where do you see yourself in 5 years, what is your weakness, what is your strength, blah,blah,blah,blah,blah! Now can you imagine 4 or 5 different bigshots sitting there, asking me their own questions?!??! I not only have to bs 1 person, but a whole bunch of them. Wow! I can easily bullshit myself through 1, but 5 at a time... Why oh why must they gang up on me????
Breathe! Just breathe!
((( taking big breaths here )))
I just have to repeat to myself: I believe in myself. I can do it. I have what it takes. I'm a hard worker. I. AM. A . BADASS!!!
Just a couple hundred more times of repeating this to myself and I will believe it.
And then I will nail this panel interview as well. Oops, that didn't sound right. Not that I will nail the panel, but I will nail the interview with the panel. Hmmm, although the 1st scenario sounds like it would definitely help my chances of getting the job.
Hmmm, something to think about I guess.
In the meantime, can you all just cross your fingers for me? Please send good wishes and good vibes my way. And if it isn't too much to ask for, I'd love a little prayer. I really, really, really need this job. At this point I'd almost take ANY job, but the good thing is that this sounds like a pretty decent one so I'd really, really, really like to get hired by them. Hopefully good wishes and prayers work, 'cause I really don't wanna nail all 5 of them, lol!!!
((( kidding ok, just kidding!!! )))