Major Complaining Ahead:
This is your free pass. Your get out of jail free card... Your warning. This is a long, whiny post that pertains to this moment in my life. Feel free to skip, or read at your own discredtion.
As you must all imagine, being that I'm currently out of a job and nobody seems to want to hire me right now, or is really, really, really dragging their feet in doing so, money is a really big issue around our household lately. Mainly because we don't have ANY of it... Only hubby is working (the poor thing) and guess what??? They just informed him that they are cutting back ALL overtime hours!!! As of today, he will be punching out at 3:30...
OH MY LORD! We were barely getting by with the couple of overtime hours he was getting per day (and by barely getting by I mean not having enough money that we had to borrow (ouch! yes borrow) from a family member to make ends meet!) And now.... Lordy Lord, now... I do not, can not even imagine what this coming month is going to be like for us. I'm only hoping and praying that somebody, ANYBODY from the million and one places who have received my resume calls me back. If not, I am sooooooooooo frieking desperate that I will soon be asking people if they want fries with that. I am NOT kidding. We NEED money, and there is absolutely no shame to working in any of those places where you have to ask that question. Granted, I haven't worked at one of those places for over 10 years & I have mastered other skills that don't pertain to that working environment, but at this point, yes I think I have reached that point... I will take anything! As long as they give me a paycheck at the end of the week I'm good. Especially right now! Out of all the times in the world to be out of a job, Christmas time . . .
And yes I know, Christmas is NOT all about the presents. That I know. But it just sucks not to have money!
It's a mixed bag of emotions for me right now. And I'm sorry for all the complaining that I've been doing lately, hence the warning at the beginning of the post. I know that we are blessed! We are truly, truly blessed. That I know, and that I repeat to myself every single day. But I'm tired of my girls asking me for things, just simple things and my answer always having to be the same. That I don't have the money for that right now... Poor girls, they've heard it so many times that they've even changed their questions to "Mommy, when you get a job and you have money, can you buy me ____________ ?" Now THAT breaks my heart.... My babies are fully aware of our money issues and that just tears me from the inside. As if me and hubby being stressed wasn't enough, I have been so careless as to letting them find out and now it's in their minds. Sh!t! Little girls shouldn't have to worry about money issues, should they???? I don't want them to be stressing over things they can't handle... over things that I should be able to take care of for them.
Lucky for them, Christmas is going to be absolutely GRAND! (somewhat) even though we don't even have a Christmas tree or any decorations inside the house they will have one present under the tree for both of them. Yes, so far only 1 and they have to share it. They usually have 2 big presents each (one from mommy & daddy and the other from Santa. Oh shit, I'm probably going to have to tell them that Santa didn't get our new forwarding address). So the 1 present they get to share is a gift that many, many, many little kids would just absolutely LOVE to have. And of course my girlies are no exception to the rule. They have no idea! They will be absolutely ecstatic! They are getting... get ready for this.....
Ok, stop it. Don't start throwing shit at me and saying how you were sympathizing with me and how could we be out of money but still be getting them a Wii???? I told you I know we are truly blessed. And no I didn't go without paying the bills to get them that Wii. Um, nope! I'd rather have running, hot water in my house thank you very much!
Actually, if it wasn't for my wonderful, generous, adorable, kind hearted sister they wouldn't even have that gift from us. See, my sister knows that my hubby really wanted to get them 1 this year. She was at the store and saw it (and she knows they're still somewhat hard to get by) so she called and asked if she should get it for us and just pay her back. Um, no we said. We don't really have the money for that now and we don't want to be forever endebted with you. But guess what??? She got it anyways. And she mailed it over to us and poor thing... First thing out of her mouth was don't get mad. Please don't get mad! That it is NOT from her to the girls, but that it is for the girls from US! WTF, how???? Remember, we can't pay you back for this, not now, not in a reaaaaaally long time. And the last thing we need right now is to owe more people money. Well, no need to pay her back she says ... Huh?!?!? I'm confused. See, she knows what a poor Christmas this will be for us and how special we wanted it for the girls so she got it for us to give to them and she practically gave it to us. She is of course better off than we are, duhh! But her reasoning is that basically hubby has helped her out a lot over at their house. See, he's very handy and always helps her with electrical stuff around the house, fixing things, making things for her, this and that. Also, she has a rental property here in the city where we live, and hubby fixes things that get broken, cuts the grass when it wasn't rented, and stuff like that. So she said she's always wanted to send us some cash and she knew we wouldn't take it, so she decided to send us this Wii as a form of payment. Now we get to give the girls the gift they've wanted for a very long time, which is NOT even on their Christmas list because they know there is no chance in hell that they'd ever get it!!!
What?!?!? I'm freaking out!
She should have sent the MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, my big sis is an angel in disguise.... She aleviated our problem a bit, but in a way made it worse. how will I ever pay her back??? Not moneywise of course, but.... I don't even have money to get her kids a small gift. This totally and truly sucks!
See what I mean??? Mixed bag of emotions. Elated that the girls are getting a frieking awesome gift when many kids might not even be getting anything, yet so many things that we need to have or do that won't/can't get done.... Ugh! So whatcha think, should I sell the thing on ebay and cash in on the money????? Lol
Thanks for reading. You all truly are little angels in disguise too! I'll try to be in a better mood tomorrow, I promise!