Friday, October 3, 2008

Dear Monkey, WHY?!?!?

Dear Monkey,

Why, oh why, dear Monkey of mine are you so adamant about talking back to me? Is it the new craze with kids your age? Are you a rebel without a cause? Are you trying to test your limits with me? Are you pre-pmsing? WHAT???? I need to know. Seriouly, 'cause it's driving me crazy!!! You say you're not talking back, but you are. And again, it's driving me crazy!!! That is not like you! Not like you at all!!! Where is my sweet, "yes mommy" answering little girl??? I want her back...

And in case you are doubting ever talking back to me, let me just remind you of what happened yesterday. As you're walking upstairs to your room the following conversation between you and me takes place...

me: Monkey, take your backpack with you. You left it on the living room floor.

Monkey: I want to leave it there. I always do.

me: But it doesn't belong there. Come pick it up and take it to your room.

Monkey: But I told you. I always leave it there. I'll put it in the hall closet when I come back down.

me: (practically fuming at this point. Trying to be patient, but you're working on my last nerves right now!!!! After all, I've told you twice to do something, and you have talked back to me twice already... Here comes the 3rd one!) I didn't ask you if you always leave it here or not. I am TELLING you to come pick it up and take it with you! I clean all day long for you to just come home and leave a mess all over the house.... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

Monkey: But I never take it upstairs. I always leave it in the hall closet.

me: Well then put it in the damn hall closet but don't leave it in the middle of the living room floor!!!

Then you cry 'cause I'm screaming at you . . . I'm sorry! I really, really am. I wish that I wouldn't lose my temper so easily and I wish that I didn't scream at you. I just don't know what to do... I'm seriously at a loss. I can't physically make you stand up and do what I just told you to do so maybe I think that raising my voice will make you understand that I mean what I'm saying. I don't know. But you'd think after FOUR times of telling you to do something, you'd listen. But you don't!

And this my dear Monkey is what is happening in our house lately on a daily basis. I have told you in person and I am telling you again in this letter. I do not like it!!!! I do not like you talking back to me, and I do not like that I lose my temper and then scream at you.... It seriously ruins my day. It makes me feel like a bad mother. And I don't like that feeling. I don't want to let you down.

I know I raised a good girl in you. You're absolutely awesome in each and every way possible. Shoot, you're most definitely awesome!!! You help me out around the house a lot, without me even asking you to !!! You always put all the groceries away when we go grocery shopping. Thank you!! I hate doing that, and you know it, that's why you do it! You come and help me when I'm cooking. You help your sister get ready in the morning and help her pick out her outfits. You get good grades at school. You always think of others before thinking of yourself. In fact, you're the one that made us start recycling. You're super nice, outgoing, super duper funny... the list could go on and on... You totally rock!!! And I've told you that many, many times. I love you so much!!! So much more than words can ever explain. I love you like only a mother's heart can love.

But right now, that sweet little baby girl of mine has 1 really great, big, fat flaw. Talking back to her mother. I wish I could understand why you are doing this. But I don't. I wish I could make it stop, but I can't. Only you can. So please Monkey, go back to being the good, respectful little girl that you've always been. We'll all be much happier this way. I promise you I will do my best to control my temper... I will try very, very hard not to scream at you. I just might make my tongue bleed from having to bite it to prevent myself from yelling, but that might just be something I'll have to do for you. Whatever it takes babe, I promise I will do my part. Please do yours. Let's make this a happy house again for both of us. No more screaming. No more talking back. No more attitude. I hope you seriously consider what I just said. After all, you will have more than enough time think about it, you know, since you've been grounded and all. Hopefully, the weekend you'll be spending in your room will be enough time to help you realize all that's going on. I sure hope so, 'cause I surely wouldn't want this to continue much longer. Plus, being grounded forever sounds like no fun either.

See babe, don't mess with mommy! At the end of the day, she has all the power to ground you, take the phone away, take the tv away, and make you stay inside all weekend long!!! And I'm not doing it to be mean. I'm doing this because I love you. You've seen for yourself how bad kids can get to be. You've been witness to it at school, so much so that you've come back home thanking me for being your mom. I told you you rocked girl! You've even thanked me for being your mother. What kid does that? Thinking back at that makes me realize that I've been doing something right. And I definitely want to keep it that way. You're my baby and I only want what's best for you. So think about it Monkey. Will you keep talking back?

Love always and forever,


Simply AnonyMom said...

Oh dear! That does NOT sound fun. My 3 year old already runs off and slams her door and tells me to go away if I tell her to do something, I am seriously dreading her getting older. :S

Hopefully this is a phase and it gets better soon...or at least hopefully you find a hidden valley of inner strength and make it through this OK.

Thanks for stopping by again!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

oh, you sweet girl - poor dear! I get this already and I have little ones? How to make it stop?? When you have it all figured out - let me know - okay??

Michelle said...

Being a good parent is tough. Never beat yourself up for losing it. We all do it from time to time!

Rachel said...

What a great letter; and by the sound of it she is a great kid! Your a great mom and we have been there...I know things will change with Zman but right now it's down to the look; when he talks back I look at him and he is quick to say I'm sorry. He appreciates what he has too; I clean a lot and he asked me "why do you clean everyday" until he went to his friend house and came back and said "mom their house is's so messy; I couldn't even find my shoes when I was leaving" LOL

Hang in there; you da bomb girl...not to mention a great mom and friend :)

Honey Mommy said...

That's so tough!
My two year old talks back sometimes and it drives me crazy! I hope I can stamp it out at an early age so I don't have to deal with it when he is a teen. *sigh*

Mamarazzi said...

we just grounded our 13 yr old for the FIRST time this last weekend. let me tell you it has been HORRIBLE!

why do they insist on acting out? ours lied. SO 100% unacceptable. we. had. no. choice. it sucks.

we had a sassing issue for about 3 days not that long ago. we started an incentive program. anytime she responsed with "sugar lips" ('sure i would love to help' or 'ok is there anything else i can do to help?') she got a little "cooperation kid" she can turn in kids for treats (a pair of earrings, etc.) or save them up for something big (spa day, lunch with friends, etc.)

She can also lose 'kids' if she is sassy.

so far it is working and i have to admit i love a sugary sweet response. she is over the top adorable and it makes me smile. its been fun!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

How old is monkey? My 7 yo Princess is doing this, too. And talking to me like I'm some brainless twit. I lost it today, between her and her pre-teen sister (God HELP me!). I had a total meltdown. It was UGLY.